Connections....

So yesterday at church, the sermon was based on Ezekiel 36: 25-26 "I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean. I will cleans your from ll your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you, I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

So our Pastor talked about cleaning out the grunge from in our hearts that prevents us from loving the way we were designed to love, and cleaning out the grunge from our lives that prevents us from living the way we were designed to live. I turned to Bra and looked at him, and after service i asked..."Isn't that just what I talked with the doctor about on Wednesday?"

It is a never ending process, cleaning our hearts, our minds, our spirits from the grunge, or the fears, the scars and the cards that are preventing us from being the person want to be and that we were designed to be. The story our Pastor told was of a broken washing machine part, an clan out value and pump, and how at the service center he was told that this part needed to be cleaned out on a regular basis or the washing machine would have problems. Now our Pastor has drove around with this broken part in his car for awhile, thinking on it, and yesterday it made it's way into the sermon. As I think about it, we all have a clean out value on our hearts and minds, but how many of us regularly look at what we are letting build up, what are we wasting emotional energy on that really doesn't matter?

Reflecting on that question is hard, because for me, I have spent more time worrying about my own problems, my own concerns and not enough time carrying for other people. We had a tornado hit on the west side of town and in Bedford, and although I have driven through the tornado path every weekend to pick up my dad, have I done anything about it? have I stopped, or offered help or support, have I even prayed for those people....I am ashamed to say that I haven't.

As I am working on this process, the playing of the card in my hand, it is encouraging to hear a sermon on the same thing, even though no one knew that this is what I was going through. It is just another way that God proves to me that he is listening, and he knew I needed more encouragement to keep moving on this path, and Sunday's sermon was that encouragement. It was encouragement to everyone that we all need to look inward from time to time to see if we are letting things build up that are preventing us from loving the way we were deigned to loved, or from being the person that god has in mind for us to be.

I am still working on my hand of cards, and it feels like I might be working on that first card for a little while loner because I realized a number of things this weekend that my holding onto that card allowed me or caused me to do, and I need to own up to those things, ask forgiveness and move on. And i will, but that seems to be a entry for another day. This connection to the sermon is more important to think about an reflect on and build on today.

I can do this, and I see the encouragement from all sides, not in words, but in connections....things people say or do, without knowing what i am going through that just reinforce the idea that this is what i need to be doing, not just now but should have been doing before. But I am starting now, and I am moving on. It feels good, and in fact.....i haven't felt half the fatigue that I was feeling since I started being open and dealing with the cards! More encouragement that this is the right thing to be doing!