Quality Time

When you are dating or first married, you spend lots of time talking with the other person, you are together all the time, then the kids start coming, and more bills and life has a habit of getting in the way, and if you aren't careful all the sudden you realize you don't even know who you are married to anymore!

Long ago in our marriage we were advised to make time each day, even if it was only 5 minutes, and talk to each other. See what each others days held and what was going on and what each other was feeling. Those simple 5 minutes could be the difference in a marriage surving or failing.

Over the years we have tried to make sure we are doing that, but three kids and work and a house, a dog and a cat, dance, theater, school, all those things that seem to intrude, have done so, but one thing I can say for sure is that we always seem to remember that advice. Everytime we get to busy for it, and we get away from it, something will happen that will cause a disagreement between us, and it will become emotional, and one of us will mention the five minutes. Sometimes I say, we need to get back to our 5 minutes and other times it is my husband, but we both seem to realize that the disagreements came out of us neglecting that time together.

Right now the kids get on the bus at 8am and my hubby will stay home and not leave for work until 8:30, so that we can have our talk time. Now this will change once summer comes, but you know for now I am happy. I notice that I feel better about myself when we are talking, I can tell him what I want to get done in the day, how I am feeling about something and know that he is listening, and the same goes for him. This is time when there are no kids to pull us away, we can focus on each other and talk. There is a small part of me that knows that we should probably make sure the kids see us talking and know that this is a big part of marriage, but for now, I will take this time when I can get it.

We've been married almost 18 years now, and I won't say they have all been rosy, there have been many ups and downs, but I can say this much for sure, had we not been given the advice to talk to each other each day, we might not have made it this long. It is too easy in this world to give up and give in, and no one really teaches you what it really takes to make a marriage work anymore. I just know that for us, we need that time to talk and connect to each other.

If you're newly married or old timers, try it. Set aside some time when you can just talk, no accusations, no hurtful words, just talk and encourage each other. In only 5 minutes a day, you will see a big change in the way you relate to each other. You will begin to understand each other better and maybe even fall more in love with each other!